we have been burdened by impossible dreams of effectiveness for too long. our grandmothers can no longer carry the lumber. we should excoriate the wind and fill our cups with gravity. the universe cannot hold out for infinity.

it is useless to be angry with the sidewalk.

the rain is starting to erode my sense of well-being. i imagine gullies and craters in rock made by nothing other than drops of water. it has been raining for 48 years now. the neanderthals were the last to see the sun. we saw cave drawings and wondered what it was all about. i am not yet sure where my gullies will be, but i know i will give the cat no more catnip.

my boss told me about her nightmare caused by the rain. we were on our way to a briefing at the capital. the sea came up out of itself, overfilled and gushing forth. there was a family with a small boy. she said she somehow could feel some sympathy for the boy, even though she was clearly not in danger. there were sea monsters and vultures waiting for the dead bodies of the family. normal animals of the sea had become engorged and swelled to terrifying proportions. she noted that even in her REM state of terror, the yellow sea monsters with polka dots were only half-assed, and probably not really monsters. questionable monsters. disney sea monsters that were laughably un-terrifying.

i cannot tell if i am becoming more crazy or more sane. i have no evidence that this is a unidimensional spectrum. i feel expansive. if i were walking through a village, i would have a jolly laugh.