It's Not Always Sunshine and Roses.

My mother attempted suicide again about two weeks ago. My cell phone was stolen, my landline doesn't work, and neither she nor her those in contact with her have access to email. So, thankfully, I've had a bit of respite from the demands of my grandmother and uncle, the pleas from my mother, and everyone's requests that I assume guardianship of her and commit her to a state mental hospital in Mississippi.

I haven't complied with this request not because I'm trying to avoid responsibility, but because I don't understand why everyone assumes a state mental hospital is preferrable to her repeated suicide attempts. Rather than prevent her from taking her life so that she may waste away in an underfunded and dismal institution, why not provide her with a more humane way to fulfill her wish? I just don't understand why suicide has to be avoided at all costs; her repeated attempts, and the endless stream of phone calls detailing the reasons she no longer wishes to live over such a prolonged period suggest to me that perhaps this would be best for everyone. I don't say this because I hate my mother, or even because I am tired of comforting her at 4 am (which is certainly true); I say it because if she is really so miserable, why should we force her to keep living? And especially in what will most certainly be horrid conditions?

We, as a society, have become so consumed with protecting and prolonging life under all circumstances that we've begun imposing our own desire to live on those who have no such wish. Why is it acceptable that a cancer patient opt for hospice rather than continued extreme courses of therapy, and unacceptable for my mother to make, substantively, the same choice? How is a state mental institution less extreme, less undesirable than painful chemotherapy? I've never understood why suicide was illegal; it imposes no financial costs on the state or the citizenry, it impinges on no bystander's rights, it's 'victim' is also the perpetrator. No, it's rarely, if ever, prosecuted, but still, the state is saying that you don't have the right to decide whether you live or die; you have a right to pursue life, liberty and happiness, but if happiness is death, then all bets are off.

Sorry to be so morbid, everyone. These are perhaps thoughts that do not belong in the ether.